As a counselor who specializes in working with men, I've counseled a lot of men who've cheated. It's important to note that it's not always men who cheat, and so I've also helped many men who've been cheated on, too. Regardless of who cheated, my work gives me insight into learning what many cheaters feel. Before I explain if cheaters have any regrets, let's look at something that has a big impact on how they feel. Below is a social media post I wrote about keeping promises.
Read the full post and then I'll share how it's connected to cheaters and their feelings.
So, how do cheaters feel? The emotional response someone has after cheating on a spouse or partner can vary. Some feel really bad and truly regret it, others not as much.
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But no matter how much guilt or remorse a cheating person expresses outwardly, they all feel it inwardly to some extent. Cheaters are often able to separate themselves from their feelings and consciousness. All of us have ways our minds can justify wrong behavior.
When a Cheating Spouse Shows No Remorse | Just me | Cheating spouse, Cheating, Husband wife
In order to cheat you need to get pretty good at doing this. These are the cognitive tricks cheaters use , but we all can too.
There are a variety of reasons people cheat on those they love. We explore many of those reasons in other articles on this website. Often, however, cheating is a symptom of other problems in a relationship.
Cheating Spouse Shows No Remorse: Forgive or Leave?
Whether they are sexual problems , communication problems , midlife crisis, or simply growing apart, those who cheat are generally looking to fill what they perceive as an unmet need. As our society makes it more and more acceptable to break a promise, it makes it easier and easier for anyone to cheat with very little guilt or remorse. I've found that most cheaters really do have a conscience. Many people who cheat didn't set out to do so. A lot of time cheating just develops out of one bad decision followed by another bad decision. Before the person knows it, they're cheating.
Once they've crossed that line, it's easier to justify it, keep on cheating, and enjoy the ride while it lasts. If you've been cheated on you are likely angry, hurt, and feeling incredibly betrayed.
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Those feelings are normal and understandable. It's important to recognize, however, that although your feelings may be different than your cheating partner's, it doesn't mean your partner doesn't have negative feelings about cheating -- they'll probably just not show them in the same way. Burying feelings or explaining away their behavior is how cheaters live with themselves. The majority of men, and women, who cheat aren't bad people. They've just made a series of bad decisions.
If you've been cheated on you might think I'm being too kind here. But the truth is the majority of cheaters do feel bad about cheating. If you have been cheated on, however, you now have to think about one of the toughest questions in a relationship, do you leave after an affair or do you find a way to work through it? Was this post about how cheaters feel helpful?
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Get notified each time there's a new post by signing-up at the bottom of this page, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter where I post relationship and self-improvement tips just like this several times a week. Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 28, Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.
A person in this headspace might not be able to do the emotional work necessary to repair a broken relationship. It merits more than one apology.
When There Is No Remorse
Do you even want to make it work? Really ask yourself that before you start the long, hard road of rehabilitating your broken relationship. Repairing your relationship will be an uphill battle. If no one in your life is rooting for you, this might make it even harder. Relationship work takes many forms, from talk therapy to changing the dynamic of a relationship. Seeing a theme here? The more your partner lies and withholds information, the worse this is for the relationship.
All the progress you made will be lost. Sheri Meyers, a marriage and family therapist , told Fox News. Now that your partner has cheated, your relationship will never be the same.
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